Without the lows, no highs...

Life is a curious thing. It comes with highs and lows. And one would expect not to like the lows. I don't love them either, but I do cherish them. Because it reminds me of the big highs that I have experienced before, and hopefully will again.

Follow your heart, they say. 
But what if your heart is consequently pointing you back in the direction of a country you had to leave? Isn't it just the mountains that I miss? So I try the next best thing, Norway, and see if it works.

And there I am, in the middle of Oslo. With enough clothes packed to survive a few days. I bought a ticket to just do something, to get my process of making decisions about my life go forward. Do I want to move to Oslo, will it be what I hope for? Best thing is to feel the vibe of Oslo, to explore the hills and forests of the region, to make contacts. To find what I miss so much from Canada.

And, do I want to move? Yes! No. Maybe? 

At last I decide I don't have the energy right now to take that big leap of a new country again. My brain already feels like it needs a shrink visit. So I'm off to go skiing for a week.
Best. Therapy. Ever.

While I am trying to find my path of life in the Netherlands and enjoy seeing friends and family again a sequence of events happens in a short period of time.
My sister gives birth to a beautiful baby boy, my father is diagnosed with heart failure and I get offered a job in Hamburg. While still unemployed and living at my parents I am able to spend a lot of time with my new nephew, and my two nieces as well. Much more important, I spend lots of quality time with my dad. At this time it is obvious he only has a few more month to live. All the harder it is to move to a new city 5 hours away to start a new job. But I manage somehow.

A few weeks later on monday 13th of April 2015 my dad Hans Kalkhoven passes away. The funeral, or as we like to call it, the goodbye party is a beautiful day and can not have been any better. He will be missed by many.

Loosing any parent has a great impact on life. On top of this I also feel a bit lost since I am back from Canada. Almost a bit like Heidi in the big city. Just when I find out that I love living near mountains as it simply makes me a happier and healthier person, I now find myself at a desk in an office in Hamburg. The most beautiful city of Germany.
The next mountain? An 8 hour drive.

Surviving the low.
Focus on the good bits. Find them if need be. Push yourself to make new friends. Accept the spontaneous self-invites from dear friends to visit for the weekend. Spend a lot of time with family. Suddenly I am glad I am here and not far away in Canada. I am surviving the low and I am cherishing it. I'll pour myself a rye & ginger, to reminisce a little.

Exploring my own country

I'm in The Netherlands, and although this should feel like coming home, I don't feel at home here. It's great to see my friends and family again and it is a very beautiful country, but I don't want to stay (yet?). Somehow I just feel it's not for me.

I don't believe my love for Canada will ever recede, but at least my mind slowly makes space for a new love. I get used to the fact I'm not in Canada any longer. I still struggle to commit to a new path, but I know its part of the process of finding my way so I’m not giving myself a hard time about it. I don't expect myself to have it all figured out before Christmas! Life is a journey!
So far, my eyes are on an interesting vacancy in Switzerland, and my thoughts are getting more and more excited about Norway. Patience is key!

In the mean time, I enjoy seeing some friends again, spending quality time with my parents, my sister and her family. Also just simply being in The Netherlands is great. I eat lots of hagelslag (chocolate sprinkles) and gooood cheese. I'm also still amazed on how cheap a glass of wine is here...
And while I slowly adjust and make a plan of my next steps, I can't sit still either. I've found a nice way to get some exercise and simultaneously enjoy the one thing I miss here: mountains. I plan to do a bike ride!! What country better to do this then a flat one?
I also want to visit friends, but the trains are expensive here. The dots connect and then I have the brilliant idea of taking my bike from one friend to the other!
I've always wanted to do a little bike trip through The Netherlands. I never thought it would be autumn by the time I finally do it. And dutch autumns can be very stormy!
But, I am lucky and the weather is nearly perfect. Not too much wind, and not too much rain!

The Netherlands is beautiful. Beautiful coast with dunes, lots of birds like herons and swans, lots of neat country side houses and old windmills, lots of canals, rivers, etc. And the latter not making it easy or even possible to just navigate on the location of the sun.... you need to know where to be able to cross those waters. It becomes a fun trip!

So, this time some beautiful pictures of my very own country, The Netherlands.

Perfect bike roads! 

"knooppuntennetwerk" got me lost a few times... 

Apart from special bike-lights,
we apparently also have horse-lights!

Through the dunes

Lots of water to cross in Holland!

Some friends joined me for a "little"...
(we got lost again and added about 20km)

Kinderdijk

And crossing water again!

Still not at my destination... time to hop on the train!

Time for new adventures

Yes, this IS what it looks like. I am packing up. Ready to leave Canada. Well, actually, mentally not ready at all, but I'm going anyway. 

I've sold my ski's, sold my car, packed up my stuff. My life is one more time in boxes and scattered all over, and I have to start from zero again, somewhere else. 

Is that frustrating? 

Yes! 

Was coming here a waste of time? 

Oh h*ll no!!

I have had an awesome time here, maybe even the best time of my life. And that says something, because I actually consider myself extremely lucky and think most of my life has been pretty awesome. I have learned a lot about myself, about people, about this country and about my own country. About love, about beauty and about what should really matter in life. 

And I would do it all over again. 

So, is this the end of my adventure? Ha! You'd think! This is just the start of the next one. I've got my mind set on mountains. Yes, no surprise right? I've found myself a more balanced, happier and healthier person when I am close to mountains. 

I love the Netherlands and if it would be just slightly less flat, I would consider going back. But it's not. So I'll be exploring possibilities in Norway, or maybe even Switzerland and Austria. 

And of course I will keep you up to date on whatever the next adventure is. 

#48

And then, my last bear that I see this summer, #48.
While driving in the dark to our campground, I thought I saw something on the road and decided to turn around to see what it was.
It was a dead bear.
Or so I thought...
It stirred.
(I still get Goosebumps just thinking about it...)

Nothing much we could do and not wanting to see it gasping for breath, I turned around and drove on with a queasy feeling in my gut that I should have done at least something! But tired from driving all day and overwhelmed by seeing the dying bear, we didn't do anything but cheer on him with some fireball whiskey at the campground.
RIP little bear!
Not until later did we figure we should have called the RCMP probably to go there and take him out of his misery.
And then, when I was feeling sorry for myself and complaining about the fact that my last bear that I see on this adventure is a dying bear, my friend admits that it was his first bear sighting ever. That made me shut up...

Jobless in the Rockies...

With no work permits in near sight, I have made the decision not to wait any longer for politics, bureaucracy, or delayed procedures of the immigration office and leave this beautiful country. I might be able to get a work permit on the long run, but not within the next year.
I'm torn between sadness and joy. Having to leave a country that I would love to stay in and saying goodbye to new friends is as heartbreaking for me as it is wonderful to return to my loved ones in Europe and find a new adventure there.
(Updates on when exactly I will return will follow... be patient!)

But first, the last bits and pieces of this adventure, and I enjoy them to the fullest!!

After working hard this summer, it is absolutely time for some exploration in the Rockies without having to look after guests. Wild things happen when you pair up with another tour guide and responsibilities are dropped!

Silke and I drive the Icefield parkway up and down a few times in 2 weeks. One night it is already dark and the starry sky gives the mountains beautiful silhouettes. Amazing thing is that I still know where I am just by seeing the silhouettes. (Mind you, it is a stretch of 250km!)
We do some day hikes and multiple day hikes along the way until our heads just can't take in any more. And then we do one more stunning hike. And then two more nights in the backcountry. Because we can.

To start with, some pics from on the road:

Abraham Lake
Along the one road going into the Rockies that we both
had not driven yet! (the 11, from Rocky Mountain House)

View from Sentinel Pass

Temple mountain in all its glory with golden Larches

What guides do after the season
(Have a drink on top of a mountain)

We walk about 200km in the span of only 2 weeks. It is so addictive to hike in these mountains! I just can not get enough of it. My body is exhausted, my mind is overwhelmed and still we decide to go on another overnight trip. I cannot possibly show you everything, or share the feelings one has when standing on top of a ridge looking down at a gorgeous valley.
But, let me try :D
(If you are overwhelmed at one point by this long post, remember this is not even half the story. Imagine my brain trying to process all this!)

Iceline trail 

All kinds of weather within 3 days, good friends, amazing views and some strenuous and fun hiking. (This will become the theme for the other hikes it turns out!)
Don't forget the good food and the fireball with tea. Or was it supposed to be tea with fireball? Oh, sweet goodness!

Lake along iceline trail

President and Vice president,
with Emerald Glacier

Balancing my own rock!! Did it!

My crazy companions. Love them.

Luxury Camping!

Isolation Peak as a backdrop

On top of the Whale back ridge. A-Ma-Zing!

Lorraine and me

Evening view on mountains

Going up to Kiwetinok Pass

Radiant green moss

Rain? Oh well. There is no bad weather, just bad clothing.
Garbage bags are trendy, right Silke?
Top of Kiwetinok Pass

Lake O'hara
In the winter I have been to this lake on cross country ski's and it is a magical white place in winter. In autumn however, vibrant colors are added and it is simply breath taking. I'm not often silent, but after a great part of the hike I just don't know what to say anymore. I tuck my camera away because I can't wrap my head around this beauty any longer and all I can do is concentrate on getting down safely.
We hike the Alpine circuit route. This route takes you high up straight in the beginning on a very steep slope, and then stays on a high elevation above tree line mostly and encircles the lake on a high level, dipping into the surrounding valleys and traversing over ledges and rock slides. It combines a lot of the possible hiking goals in the area in one good long hike.

The first part of the hike is steep.
Not just steep. Super steep.
Super duper mega steep. 

Golden Larch

Icy cold Lake Oesa
(I skinny dipped, but I am told
putting the evidence online is
not smart... so just believe me, ok?)

Lake O'hara from above 

On the Opabin Plateau 

Waiting for the bus to take us down.
Not a bad view. Again.

Mount Robson and Berg Lake

We have our mind set on this trip when we start our road trip from Spruce Grove, but then we get distracted by other opportunities with my friend Lorraine. At the time we actually start going up to Berg Lake it is already a week later, and we are halfway on our unintended 200km of hiking in 2 weeks.
While having a good hearty breakfast in town, we spontaneously decide we have to go today to avoid at least most of the rain according to the forecast. There goes our hope for at least one day of rest between our hikes. We do some grocery shopping for food, get stuck in construction traffic jams and start our hike after noon. A wee bit on the late side. After hiking 22km and 1000m elevation gain with a backpack full incl. tent, food for 4 days etc. we still make it up before darkness! All the training of the last days seems to have helped.

On the way up, Emperor Falls. Very majestic!!

Latest trend: Ponchos.

Two hot chicks. Right?!

Mount Robson and Mist glacier

Berg Lake

View from the day shelter's porch

View from Hargreaves route

Berg lake is at the foot of Mount Robson and has the Berg glacier flowing directly into it. Sometimes pieces fall of and ice bergs float around in the lake, hence the name of the lake. We are slightly disappointed when there is only one little chunk of ice as big as a cat on the day we arrive. But after a good rainstorm on the second night, paired with lots of noise, we are treated on a great view the next morning!

The smallest chunk of ice on day of arrival 

Ice chunks as big as cars on the day of departure!

Oh, Canada.

Valley of the thousand falls. See, rain is really good! Waterfalls are spectacular when it rains!

Boulder Pass, near Skoki lodge
We are back in Jasper and Lorraine calls me. "I've got another cabin reserved, do you want to come?" While I am thinking about really needing a break from hiking I hear myself saying "of course we come!". Our dream team grows, we bump into Merel. She comes along too, and together with Lorraine and Alison we are suddenly 5 guides. Guaranteed good times! (And good food :D)

Starting out in the fog
We are bushwacking because Lorraine doesn't like the trail.

Dream team!

Soon we are far above the clouds, and see Mount Temple.

Ptarmigan Lake 

At Ptarmigan Lake we sit down and have lunch. As everybody is enjoying the view, we don't see the grizzly bear behind us roaming around. Not until Merel spots him and tells us. She has to add "I'm not kiddin' " before we actually turn around and get up quickly to move. About 30m behind us the bear is happily feeding on insects and roots and luckily not interested in our sandwiches. We keep some distance, stand together, take out the bear spray and wait. Another group with a dog, coming from the other side, makes the situation a bit tense for a minute. But the grizzly is not too impressed and decides to move away so we can all continue our hike. 

This was the first time for me to encounter a bear while hiking actually. Mostly I saw them from the car or further away. Exciting for sure!

And this brings my bear counter up to 46 after being stuck on 45 for a while. On our way out we see another bear, further away this time and on the other side of a lake. A nice safe distance! That makes the bear counter get to 47 in total after this trip. 

"I'm not kiddin'" soon becomes the sentence of this trip.

Life is hard...

  The parts that make a hike that much more fun! 

Some deer outside our cabin

Luxury Camping again!

Beautiful starry sky!

September = Mushroom time!

Off-trail again? Yup!

Off-trail again!? No! This IS the trail. 

Skoki Lodge

Fun with camera's and a flashlight

Packed up and ready to go down again!

And then it starts snowing. Welcome to Canada. :)

Boulder Pass

Lunch spots
All good hiking trips, all different weather, every single one a different experience. As you might have noticed by now, I consider a good lunch (or dinner) spot important. These are some of the examples in my free weeks in the Rockies: (Yes, it does feel very weird to have lunch on a chair at the kitchen table these days. Something is just not right while doing that!)

Cooling the feet while eating lunch!

Pasta dinner on the road!

On the way back from Skoki, half-way hut is a good shelter!

Luxury lunch on top of a ridge!

Arrival at mt Robson, everything will taste good tonight!

Tea on the way down from Berg Lake, well deserved!

Tea (with some 'extra') in front of the cabin in Yoho,
again cooling our feet at the same time!

So much fun while eating dessert
on the patio of the cabin!

Oh, that patio is good for everything.
Look at the view while eating pre-dinner (popcorn!).

Superb view on the glaciers of Mount Robson

Dream team tea time!  (Noticed the rum bottle...?)

It is time to leave and head back to Vancouver. Saying goodbye to my friends and the mountains is not easy, so I poke a tear away. (Ok, I cried like a little baby, but who cares...)
Lasting memories are made, more will come in future. I am sure!